Little dreams - Huge reality

I had a very strong desire to learn an instrument for 5 years...I search online for guitar classes and have always tried very hard to get my hands on a guitar. It was really upsetting when my fingers could not reach over and hold most of the strings... hence I resorted to admiring those who could play the instrument.

Last Saturday, although the plan for the day was super packed, it was a pleasant surprise for me when my Knight took me to a store in Petaling Jaya and presented me a gift... my very own first guitar. Surprised beyong belief at first, I decided that I wanted it to be unique and different, in which, this gift will never be the same with any other gift, so picked out a blue guitar. The electric blue blended into navy blue with a finishing of black made it really gorgeous. I could have opted for a sunburst colour, but for me, it was a common colour, most girls will go for. This guitar was perfect!!

It was really a happy moment for me...my first guitar...my very own one ... small things that matter!!!

Wish to be Strong

Being strong is not as easy as one thinks. When you are hit once, you can stand up and keep on moving. Taking a repeated blow make one weak, ...weaker then before. The most important thing is that once a chance is given, it should not be misused or abused.

Everyone in my family taught me a very important lesson - they forgave all my stupid mistakes in the past and by doing that, I am a better person today. With everyone's support, directly or indirectly,  I managed to recollect myself from where I was and continue to progress in life. Today, I am proud to say, yes, I have done every mistake in the book of sins, but yet, I have repented and I am definitely not going back down that alley.

Another chance... to change and to be a better person. I want to be with you and give you a chance to prove to everyone that a mistake will never occur again. Can you promise my family and me that? Give them your word, and I will be yours forever... small things that matter!!!

It's Not Always about Receiving

The night before was hectic.Grocery shopping took some time, as I had to make sure I managed to get everything I needed to make the next day a memorable one. It was an important day, as this was the first birthday we would be celebrating Sathia's birthday as a couple. After fetching Sri, future my sister-n-law, we were off to Giant, our local hypermarket. We bought everything on my grocery list, and headed back to her house. I had to drop her off before rushing for double-shift job ...babysitting my nephew.

We arrived at her home, and as I was about to leave, she told me of her intentions to tag along. I realised that she felt bored at home, and immediately agreed. After all, she was good company =D ... 

Time was ticking... 11.10pm... I glanced out to the porch. My sister was yet to appear. Her son is an absolute angel to babysit. Time was flying, it made me jittery. I had to get Sri back home before midnight and wanted to wish Sathia at midnight in person. 11.33pm... a car wheeled in and my sister and brother-in-law stepped out of the car. 

I managed to get to Sathia's home on time. 12 midnight, I stood at his gate, looked him in the eye and managed an out-of-breath-smile... "Happy Birthday sweetheart!!!" - and this was the beginning of his 32nd birthday. After a quick meal at his place, I rushed home. The day had just begun.

I woke up after barely closing my eyes on my pillow... the cold air in my room tempted me to roll over and sleep longer. But I had to get cooking... The plan for his birthday:

Activity:	Lunch treat for 40 disabled children
Venue:	Persatuan Penjagaan Kanak Kanak Cacat Klang (PPKKCK)
Time:	12.30pm till 2.30pm
Menu:	vegetarian briyani	stir-fried mixed vegetables
	chicken kurma curry	spicy cucumber raita
People:	Sathia (Birthday boy)	Shanti (aunty)
	Thillai Mohanadas	Gandi (aunty)
	Vinothakumaran (brother)	Kanagasingam (cousin)

With the help of his aunties (Shanti and Gandi), we managed to get the food prepared. They volunteered to cook 2 dishes and I agreed to cook 2 dishes. Everything was set, and once the food was loaded into the cars along with the donations, we were soon on our way to the children's home.

The children gave us a warm welcome upon our arrival, most of them offered help to unload the car. But it was clear that they were hungry. Food was served by Sathia for all 40 kids. It was overwhelming for a few of us, but it was also an eye opening moment to see more reasons on why we should be grateful with what God has given us.

Shafiq

Through the opening of a grill at the sliding door, a little girl peaked out. I tried to look at her, but noticed that a care taker was carrying her. This baby girl really made me tearful. I found out later on that her condition could have been avoided if her mother had done screening tests that can detect structural abnormalities, such as spina bifida, which is a defect in the development of the spine, or some chromosomal disorders, such as Down's syndrome. Although no test can guarantee that a baby will be born without an abnormality, screening tests can:

• reassure the parents that their baby is likely to be born healthy
• give the parents time to prepare for the arrival of their baby with special needs
• allow the parents to consider the termination of an affected pregnancy
• provide valuable information for the mother's care during pregnancy

Ah Hong, feeding Sathia cake

We met and spoke to the children after lunch. Cake cutting ceremony was a slight tug-of-war between the birthday boy and one of the kids, Shafiq. The struggle was hilarious and made us all laugh uncontrollably... Sathia managed to share the warmth of his birthday with the children and when Ah Hong fed Sathia cake volunteerily, we all smiled. 


This was my gift to him... the opportunity to share his love and time with these needy children who yearn for attention. Beyond the joyful time we had at the home, we all left with the cloud of sadness... small things that matter!!!

My Puppy, I once called Ricky

Its been 2 years now, since Ricky passed away. I weep for his demise now, that I found out just recently from my ex-student that he had passed away. He would have been 7 years (41 dog years) then.

I remember the first day I set my eyes on him, the fluffy little puppy. I reached the breeder's home in USJ Subang at night, after work. It was an anxious drive to the breeder's den. She told me over the phone that the puppies were too young, but I could dropby to hand pick the one I wanted. I wasn't sure if any of the puppies would bond with me immediately or will I pick the wrong one. It was definitely either a beagle or a shih tzu, but I eventually decided on a shih tzu.

I reached her home at around 8pm, only to notice that the surrounding area was quite dark. I heard a frenzy  of activity from beyond the gates, and I knew these bunch of puppies were definitely pumped with energy. Upon reaching the puppies, one little puppy looked up at me, gave me the cheekiest look and started circling around, trying to catch his tail. He stopped when I turned to speak to the breeder, and the moment I looked at him again, he repeated his circling... I knew just then, that he bonded with me. I picked him up, with the breeder's permission, cuddled him and told the breeder, "Ricky, this is my Ricky". 

I still have him in my memory, and I love him very much... I will get another just like my Ricky, one day in future ... small things that matter!

Never Turned Back

There was once a little froggie, Jane who lived in the urban area of the pond. She was always feeling awkward, without a sense of belonging. Most of the time, she would appear to have many others around her and they appeared to adore her talent and loved the way she held her head high. But she never made it a point to tell the rest, about how lost she felt without a solid ground below her feet. It was definitely difficult for anyone to understand, no one was ever in her "shoe".

Jane, the little Froggie

For years, she went through life by keeping herself busy. For Jane, the smallest time she had with nothing to do, it only made her remember how lucky other people around her were, with family of their own.

One fine day, Jane decided to hop along the rainbow till she reached the end of the rainbow, which was famous for its pot of gold. For her, at least, till she finds the tail of the rainbow, she won't feel hurt or depressed, nor will loneliness eat her soul. Jane hopped for as long as she could, stopping at the end of each day, to look back at how far she had come...leaving behind all the sad moments and unhappiness she's been through all her life.  Years passed, the rest back at the pond wondered if she would ever return. Jane knew that at the end of the rainbow was no pot of gold. It was just another excuse for her to keep going and never turn back. For every turn she made, there were just memories of how self-consumed the world around her was, no one to ever think how she actually felt and what she truly wanted.

These small things that matter ... but often taken for granted!

Little Feet ... Happy Feet

The position Kailaash was in when I arrived

My day yesterday was pleasantly ended with the company of my nephew, Kailaash. My brother-in-law has been down with viral fever, and I decided to bring him some magic after work. What took me by surprise is my sister hadn't showered as my nephew was still awake, and had kept her busy till I arrived.

Looking around for the mischievous fellow, I caught sight of a bundle of softness in front of the television. Kailaash was in the cutest position a baby can get into, making him look like a rounded up ball of chubbiness.

My sister, in a tone of helpless-mode-switched-on, asked me to look after him while she enjoyed a quick wash down. From the sight of her, she needed more than a quick wash down, she needed a long aromatic hot shower that could release her stress and allow her to relax. I told her run along, and went to attend to my nephew.

Baby Feet

Kailaash was in gurgles when he saw me. His eyes lit up like a light bulb and it was definitely the most pleasant sight. I picked him up and started playing with him. Tickling him was absolutely hilarious because he started laughing out loud (LOL)...! His chubby baby feet were so tempting - I kept making him laugh by gently nibbling on his toes.

I had a stressful day earlier, ... but his chuckles and gurgles made me really happy and it was definitely a natural de-stress moment. My nephew, Kailaash Gautham ... small things that matter!

Courtesy Teh Tarik

It was another morning, ... just another day. I woke up early to go off for class. My lectures on Wednesday were back-to-back, giving me a window for lunch at noon. I didn't think of putting on anything fancy, but I knew I was meeting him for the first time that day. He was leaving to Vietnam the next day, and had been asking me to have "teh tarik" for a month now. I sent an sms to ask if he was free... this was the beginning of our journey through life and we have come to accept each other for who we are.

From:	thillai.mohanadas	Date:	20 July 2011 04:24
To:	Sathia Kumar <+60123XXXXXX>    (I didn't get his name correct)	Subject:	SMS with Sathia Kumar
Message:	Good morning sathia...I'm sure u r sleeping. Just wanted to ask if u want to meet later at 9pm near sunway. I'll be going to see mum at her clinic in sunway n tot if we cud meet before ur flight tomorrow. Let me know ya?

From:	Sathia Kumar +60123XXXXXX	Date:	20 July 2011 09:22
To:	thillai.mohanadas	Subject:	SMS with Sathia Kumar
Message:	G.mornin dear...u were wake so early... guess should no prbs... 9pm in sunway

Some times a small prayer, even though whispered in our hearts, does not change the situation, but it changes our attitude towards the situation and gives us hope which changes our entire life. Life has never been the same after ... small things that matter!

Thru the Lenz: A Full Day of Pampering

I could hardly fall asleep the night before. All these weeks of surfing and preparing myself will be tested the next day. I have been spending hours online trying to get ideas of how to express my emotions with my loved one through the lens of a camera. We have been discussing all the suitable and momentous shots that would speak volumes of our bond. 

I woke up the next day early. Having pre-scheduled a class, I could not let my student down. I left for class after slipping on one of my faded t-shirts and pulled on a pair of jeans. I could not fight back my excitement throughout class, many a time wondering if my student thought I was weird. Once class ended, I was home in no time, preparing snacks for the journey that was about to begin in an hour's time - sliced papaya, watermelon, marble cake, orange sponge cake and sausage rolls.

Packed and ready... My knight arrived on time, he had a smile that made me feel beautiful. I needed no verbal compliments, he had his eyes on me every time we stopped at a traffic light and especially when we were waiting for our hero-behind-the-lens, Anati. Her shots of my sister's extraordinary maternity photography session proved her skills. I had to make sure it was her handling our photo shoot, so I booked her as early as 6 months back. 

We have never had anyone take our pictures nor have we been particular about taking our pictures together. This made me reconsider photo documenting our casual moments in future. Now that we both have good camera phones, and I carry my digital camera almost everywhere I go, I should take random shots of us. Once we reached our first location of the photoshoot, both of us froze. It was our first couple shots and we were complete statues for good 40 minutes. Unsure of what to do, we could not even remember any photos we have seen online and discussed. No matter how prepared you are for a photo shoot, once you are in front of the lens, nothing seems to come to memory. We struggled at the first location, but with the help of our photographer, and her soulmate, they managed to set us the right direction. Nature also helped us melt into our characters and eventually, the ball started rolling. Pictures turned out as we planned, and we were much relaxed. 

Sunset at Bagan Lalang

We set off for the second location after I changed out of my first attire. We reached the beach after an hour drive - the beach welcomed us with the picture perfect view of the sun glaring its might down on the beach. Tiny little crabs were running around trying to hide from us, giants, burying themselves deep into the layer of sand. After enjoying some time on the beach looking at these crabs and fooling around, we got to work.

This time, we let our guard down, and felt more comfortable. As the day came to an end, I couldn't help thinking of all the wonderful moments captured through the lens of Anati's camera. We wound down to scrumptious "fresh-fish" siakap-masak-3-rasa, prawn sambal (which was extremely spicy), kangkung belacan and telur dada. 

By the time we reached home, we were so burnt out, a cold shower and a cup of "coffee" just wasn't enough. The day ended with a special treat to the soul... Every moment of the day had been engraved into my soul ... small things that matter!

Excitement

Yesterday was a day I will never forget. I felt a current of excitement that I have never experienced before. A rush of "yippie-ness" flushed over me from the very start of the day... though the day itself was perfectly a normal routine.

Waking up to the news, instead of dragging myself out from under the sheets to the bathroom, I jumped out of bed, hurried into the shower, quickly got changed into one of my favourite outfits, slipped on matching ornaments and charged out of the house at 7.40am. Waving goodbye to my domestic helper (which amazed me), I turned on the radio and drove to work... Felt awkwardly perky and bubbly.

At work, I managed to think straight and a little out-of-the-box ... completed complicated assignments and didn't feel the time pass till my PC started the antivirus scan at 5.30pm on its own - indicating the day has come to an end! Then, it hit me... all then excitement was because I was going to meet the 2 men of my life... my adorable nephew (Kailaash Gautham, 8 months) and my soon-to-be hubby (Sathiakumaran, 32 years old). It felt as if its been ages I met them, though its only been a week or so. But they really brightened the evening.

One of my most happiest days ... small things that matter!

Hectic but Still Worth It

Days are flying by, sometimes I wonder if I have skipped a day or two. In the midst of working, everything seems to crawl at tortoise's speed, but as soon as I step out of office, the sun sets faster than I have ever noticed. The next moment, I am looking at dark skies, street lights and the day ends abruptly.

This morning, waking up was a struggle. Usually, I would wake up to my phone's radio app - reading out the news at 6am. Today, the news sounded like it was coming from the opposite house, so faint. I guess, I must have been deep in sleep, trying to swim back to reality. By the time I reached reality, I caught a glimpse of the sky as the curtains on my windows swayed to the fan's breeze. It was definitely brighter than what it should be ---> 7am glowed on my phone. my alarm was still snoozing. I guess I hit the snooze a couple of times, 6 to be exact.

The first thing I did when I walked in to office was to check my schedule for the MONTH...exactly, checked the entire month to see when I could sit back in the park, watch children run around and enjoy the sunset. 22nd July seemed to be the day. That's 18 days from today... E.I.G.H.T.E.E.N days. Bugger...! I swear I should not do this any more. I have no social life but I guess I should not be complaining. many people out there are actually struggling to secure a job, what more getting an additional job. 

It's definitely worth it...I will miss this busy schedule if I change ... tat's for sure!